I save my baby teeth
and later my retainer
my fingers coil, lengthen
tighten around the place I leave my head
Now its glass plugs to stop up holes
keep myself from leaking out
Once when I was little
I learned how to separate yourself
from the rest of the bed
like a lapdog resting on a cushion
and asked to be bound
in cardboard boxes
Glass [...]
The Old Side of the Pillow
Do It To Me Awkward
TV taught me that all my lovers would return
in late-night reruns of passionate familiarity
burning bright the gleaming, cathode light
of practiced, safe precision
I’d embrace them, carefully documenting
each detail, tiny spur and fuzz, shadows fliting
on a field of snow, hoping their replacements
bore a clearer image of my passion play
I crucify myself atop this perfect prison of light [...]
Untitled #8
The subtle abuses
the gardener elicits the flowers
and their response, responses, deaths,
quiet despondence, despotism,
the violent, drunk meanderings of seed
time wasted in acreage
The saloons and bars,
schools and streetcorners, alleyways, parks
in South Philadelphia, where
I used to live, my first
fuck, my heart stolen, we
broke the law, there was
no sympathy for the dead, their
bodies like children
Don’t you fucking look at me.
Baby loves blue velvet.
A New Dawn Of Man; Emergence With Machine: The Bionic Monk
The first part of the procedure was a success. No complications. When people find out, they’ll probably think I’m crazy, but they probably think that already.
The bug was incredibly difficult to procure, not to mention program and install.
The change in my physical appearance was an unfortunate unseen effect, costing me my job and [...]
Nonsense Unmetered Sonnet
Beacon of Athena’s light
black-blue vision of forest deep
ruffled feather, burning might
malediction frightful keep
our prayers for sanctification lie
from tongues whose lips
are speckled poison, cry
the beat-black fingertips
to reach down callous throat
and clutch the battered soul
radiate vivacity variform
and grant the image whole
whose voice, resounds though remote,
the mellifluous, seething worm.
I Love you.
I sincerely do. Thank you for everything.
The Empowerment Problem
The more things I say
the more fucked up shit I do
to distance myself
to move on, forget,
the more words I have given
to describe someone who doesn’t exist
the more power I give to a hopeless past
There must be some way
I can take back everything, the presents
the fights, the letters, the resounding emptiness
of words and actions
and no longer [...]
My Hand On A Stove as compared to Your Hand On My Thigh
Sometimes the pain is so blinding
if I kept going, I know it would drive me insane
It wouldn’t kill me
but the sensory immersion
has me floating in light so bright
I fear my limbs
the tiny nerves which are concealed inside
will curl and tense
and strain
Sometimes the pleasure is so preoccupying
that if you were to continue,
I would surely loose my [...]
Things on my mind at 4:30 as I contemplate this juncture.
Tomorrow Andrew and I will be visiting Gary Heidnik’s house in North Philadelphia. I have mixed feelings about this; strange, complicated feelings of self-doubt and self-perusal (re: glorification of a criminal psychotic) and anticipation, excitement tinged with fear of disappointment. I’ve developed a relationship with this character for almost a decade, developed a world with [...]
